Justice Denied

The Quaid Ispeaks

By: Hakim Hazik

Dear patriatic jernails af Pakistan, this is your Quaid ispeaking. Dear jernails, we isloot the services that you have undertaken to help the peepil affected by filoods outside the gireat Port City. If it was nat the case, masses af istrange istrange peepil firam interior Sind would invade Kiranchi. This would disturb the ethnic harmony that the Mutahidda has established after istrenuos efforts with electric dirills and gunny bags. More...

To,

Dear Brother,

I write to you as a brother, as you have been granted the temporary guardianship of this realm by the Almighty, till the Tehrik  e Taliban (Binnori,Waziri, Mehsudi group) is ready to take over the reins of the government. I write to you in the name of the unity of the Ummah and the forthcoming Khilafah of God on earth. This resurgent and everlasting Khilafah will be appointed by God and myself. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

Meray Aziz Hamwatno,

Mullah Mullen is my best friend. He is the Commander of the Faithful and Amir of Momineen and Mominat. He is the Caliph of Islam, just like Mullah Omar was before him. Mullah Omar was also my best friend. He may yet be the Caliph again. I therefore keep his ba’yat and get him his snuff from the bounteous province of Hindukush. More...

People of Birmingham, Lend Me Your Ears

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

Welcome to this launch party of Chairman Bilawal Bhutto Zardari. Many of you have been on launches in the past after paying large amounts of money to Greek human smugglers. You are all hard working people. The motherland is proud of you. We are very grateful for the money you send to Pakistan. It keeps the country going and pays for the essentials of life such as this trip. I can assure you that your money is safe in numbered Swiss accounts and no enemies of the people from the Supreme Court can ever lay their dirty hands on it. More...

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